John and family: Funnies and quotes

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Funnies and quotes

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine.

Bob Hope

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Bob Hope

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Groucho Marx

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Bill Cosby

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Bill Cosby

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Bill Cosby

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Bill Cosby

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.

Bill Cosby

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

Bill Cosby

St Philip patron saint of joy and humour

St Philip patron saint of joy and humour was known to be spontaneous and unpredictable, charming and humorous.
Philip understood that it wasn't enough to tell young people not to do something -- you had to give them something to do in its place. So at Carnival time, when the worst excesses were encouraged, Philip organized a pilgrimage to the Seven Churches with a picnic accompanied by instrumental music for the mid-day break. After walking twelve miles in one day everyone was too tired to be tempted!
Not everyone was happy about this growing group and Philip and Buonsignore were attacked by the priests they lived with. But eventually Philip and his companions were vindicated and went on with their work.
Philip did not escape this spiritual mortification himself. As with others, his own humbling held humor. There are stories of him wearing ridiculous clothes or walking around with half his beard shaved off. The greater his reputation for holiness the sillier he wanted to seem. When some people came from Poland to see the great saint, they found him listening to another priest read to him from joke books.

Prayer:
Saint Philip Neri, we take ourselves far too seriously most of the time. Help us to add humor to our perspective -- remembering always that humor is a gift from God. Amen

St. Dominic Savio

Dominic is the patron saint of choir boys and of the falsely accused.

This latter title was given to him due to the following incident. One time, two boys filled the school stove with snow and garbage during the cold winter months. When the teacher came back into the room, they falsely accused Dominic of doing the “dirty” deed. Although disciplined in front of the entire class, Dominic refused to tell on the two mischievous boys. When the truth was later revealed, Dominic was asked why he didn’t confess to his innocence. He remarked that he was imitating Our Lord, Who remained silent during His persecutions and crucifixion.

St Dominic pray for us